TOPIC: Do I try to get her back

Update, we are meeting to talk next weekend. She told this new guy she couldn't have sex with him (supposedly) and I got a txt that she loves me and misses me.

Ironically I got a FB message from a girl I met a few years ago in a gym telling me she's single and wanted to hang out. I don't believe in God, but there is some force at work here testing me.

As an older guy, I also think Hunky has give you good advice.

Tell her you do indeed love her but you need her help with dealing with your insecurities (Penis size or otherwise) and also tell her if she needs you for anything, you'll be there for her as well.

Here is different advice from my friend Reklaw.

The way I deal with stuff like this is 100% honesty - I just dump all my cards, and I do it for myself so I can walk away if I have to. When I was younger I did the opposite. I never wanted the other person to see my cards as I thought it gave them power over me. Now I say everything - if it doesn't work out I feel free as I did my best; when I am at my most confident I am at my most honest so it is in keeping with me putting my best foot forward - even if I am talking about my insecurities or telling someone something about me I am not proud about. It is a paradox but true. It takes more strength to peel the skin off my face and tell someone the truth about what I feel about them or why I acted a certain way - even if it is embarrassing than to hide it and get all up in my head and make the relationship a mental conversation with myself.

I am not sure what she means when she says she is seeing someone but thinks of you - but if you want to find out if there is a chance - ask her. I am also very good at walking away and letting things go, so if I could not, I would want to find out of there was still something there.

Tell her about your issue with the size of the other guy's Dick - maybe you have - which translated means that you felt like you would not be able to show her that type of satisfaction in bed; and that you want to be that person for her so you felt defeated. She will only like you more unless she is a horrible person.

Deal with that fact that she is angry about you dating someone else - just means she is jealous and still likes you.

Don't do tit for tat, people stop listening.

I am sure there were a ton of other issues, but my rule of thumb for dealing with people is to let them be who they think they are. If you do, they will not be defensive and listen to you.

I am sure there are a few guys thinking Nooooooo!! Horrible advice!!! Don't listen to the old gay guy!! But this will take you someplace you have not been before. Either you leave your cards on the table freer so you can walk away, or you get a second chance. Either way, it all becomes less mental and more real so it will be less obsessive.

If you are not doing this now with her, you will be doing it later with someone else as we all come face to face with our shit in life. I'd take control of the situation and see if you can make it work if you like her - mind you I don't have 99.99% of the details, lol.

Thanks Mike. I think I was pretty normal for sure- until I saw those pics. Never thought once about my dick.. not once. Then I saw those, and I got all weird about it. In my head, I put myself in the room with this guy and the girl that I love and basically watched them figure out a way to fit this dick insider her. It drove me batty thinking of all the compliments she must have gave.
I think I haven't been the same since. I have a friend who is a shrink and he said because I have body dysmorphic it hit me harder than most.
I told one friend and he laughed.. he said so what? Wouldn't bother me at all -- ughh I wish.

Herbert. I saw pictures. One pic was his arm next to it. It was as thick as his wrist and went from wrist to almost elbow. So I look at her and say, this is a camera trick right? She was like- nope. That's what I had to deal with. I didnt have the to ask, but I would guess 10 inches with a 6" girth. I had never seen anything like it honestly. She said they couldn't have regular sex it was so big. I think she was trying to make me feel better- but it just made me feel worse.
I could just stick it in, balls deep - no issue, and they had to use all sorts of tricks just to crowbar it in there.
Mortifying. Embarrassing. Infuriating.

But I'm living with these mind games.. the guy was before me, it had nothing to do with me. She loved me. I made her orgasm, which he couldn't. I gave her multiples which no one could. Shouldn't that have been good enough?
I let it change my personality. I wanted attention from other girls because in my head my girl was 1)damaged goods 2) I wasn't good enough.

So it's a total mind fuck to think you blew up the best thing you ever had over something that really shouldn't of effected me if I had a strong constitution and better self esteem.
I wrecked our relationship because my own internal problems.
It's a tough pill to swallow.
She didn't make it easy on me though- I have to admit. She didn't handle it well either when she found out I saw those.
And by the way for those of you just catching up- she DID delete the pics, but I did a restore on her OS to fix the laptop and it brought them back.

What if---- what if I never saw them. Would I have married her?
Well for one thing I would have never been on her helping you crazy fuckers.. so there's that silver lining.
Now.. when is my Round 3 !?!?!? hahaha-

Oh, I'd also like to point out- SEEING the pics was the worst. You can hear a rumor your girl was with a huge guy, but never seeing it you can play it down in your head. I SAW it. I SAW the horror. It was like a murder scene. You just can't shake seeing it.